Linda is brave, courageous and careful about her safety as she navigates life after leaving the Old Order Amish church she was born in. As a parent and a survivor she has done a ton of work to be able to have the child sexual abuse she experienced reported on her terms which is beneficial to her. We are so proud of her and I hope Linda is as proud of herself as we are of her. It is an honor to be a guest on Linda's surrey of life. -Mary
In 2018 when I met Linda, we bonded over coffee and our shared Amish backgrounds. We talked about the oppression we had experienced, and the way assimilation affected us. We laughed and talked for hours and then we went home to our respective locations. We chatted periodically in the years that followed.
In 2021, when Jasper Hoffman and I put out a call for folks to accompany us to an Amish Abuse Awareness Meeting, Linda was on-board, she packed up and drove a couple hours to meet us there. At the meeting she saw the person who sexually abused her as a child. Linda also learned that even though it was many years ago, she could still report the abuse and there could be an investigation into the case. She reached out to me next when she had asked an organization local to her for assistance in reporting and the way they had made her feel was re-traumatizing, triggering and dangerous, as if the organization would probably contact her previous church leaders to verify her experience. I asked her if they had a detective on retainer and she said no. They also asked for detailed written narratives about the abuse that were completely unnecessary from an advocate perspective. I asked if they had a lawyer on retainer, she said again no. They wanted her to provide her evidence that the abuse transpired to them. My question was: what qualifies them to investigate child sexual abuse? What training and education do the people involved in this organization have for providing investigative services? Could it potentially interfere with an investigation from LEO’s? What would be best for you?
At that moment, Linda asked for someone else to assist her in person to report it. We worked together to locate a person who could help her report it in person that she trusted. When the time came, Linda decided that she wasn’t ready to report mentally. We assured her, this was ok, and we understood. We support her and we believe her. She deserves justice but it is her decision when and how to report it. We will be here when she is ready.
Over the next 3.5 years Linda stayed connected as needed. We built our relationship and Linda built her support network. In October of 2024, her new therapist that she has been seeing has helped her report the child sexual abuse she experienced and IS boots on the ground supporting her. Linda did a lot of work to build connections with folks that feel trustworthy to her and with folks that will be supportive, despite what slanderous lies may come from her church of origin. Linda deserves justice. To empower victims of child sexual abuse may take years of work and it may feel like you’re not making headways, but somedays you might receive a phone call that tells you the work and connection you have built with someone has been helpful.
Furthermore, when you are an advocacy agency that purports to serve survivors and assist them in reporting.
Stay in your lane. The road to hell is often paved with the best of intentions, bridges built with thoughts and prayers and people doing things they are unqualified to do. Organizations operating with victim empowerment principles tend to generally be passengers on the bus or surrey the victim is driving, perhaps the TC (tactical control) assistant, but never the driver. People who have experienced repetitive crimes and then been gaslit for decades, blamed and shamed for being children who experienced sexual violence need to be supported through the process of taking over both tactical control and driving the bus or surrey of their life. It is not a one size fits all approach and its not a battle, it’s a long-term commitment to the journey with many battles along the way and an absolute honor to walk with people who are taking back their power. BRAVO Linda! YOU go. YOU got this. YOU are ENOUGH AND WORTHY OF JUSTICE.
We are here cheering you on.
Mary and The Misfit Amish
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