I just spoke to an Amish woman who survived CSA, she went to a place called Strait Pathways where she was given an hour with a counselor. She has given me permission to publish the following. -Mary
Counselors:
She informed the counselor she experienced CSA and she learned that many survivors of CSA also experience abuse later in life, which she learned at an Abuse meeting.
The counselor informed the survivor, she now has sexual ties with the perpetrators because of the CSA she had experienced and she wants to cut those ties.
Doesn't this completely disregard the consequences of CSA and makes medical conditions a spiritual issue?
The counselor also informed the survivor they felt an urgency to pray the breaking the soul ties prayer today.
The counselor instructed the survivor to read this breaking soul ties prayer out loud:
Heavenly Father, I take responsibility for the sin of sexual immoralities with (insert name or names here) and I repent of it and put it under the blood of Christ. I ask you to break the
sinful bond with (insert name or names here) in the name of Jesus Christ. I ask that you would separate my body, soul and spirit totally from (insert name or names here). I ask that you would retrieve any part of myself that is with (insert name or names here) and I release any part of (insert name or names here) that is with me. I also ask that you would cancel out all demonic activity and disconnect all demonic links connecting me to (insert name or names here). I take responsibility for sin of (insert name or names here) and repent of it and the spirit of it in my life and in my generations.
I break all soul ties in the name of Jesus Christ and through his shed blood between myself and (insert name or names here) and any spirits that came on me through contact with (insert name or names here), I renounce in the name of Jesus and command them to leave. I renounce all uses of my body as an instrument of unrightousness. I choose to present my eyes, mouth,mind, heart, feet and sexual organs to you as instruments of righteousness. I present my whole body to you as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable and I choose to reserve the sexual use of my body for marriage only. I reject the enemies lie that my body is not clean or that its dirty and unacceptable to you in any way because of my past sexual experiences.
Father, I thank you that you have totally cleansed and forgiven me and that you love and accept me just as I am. Therefore, I choose now to accept myself and my body as clean in your eyes. Thank you, Father in Jesus Name. Amen.
The counselor then proceeded to pray over her:
Father God, I just come before you in the coourtroom of heaven on behalf of (inserted Survivor's name here), and I come before Jesus, who is her defense attorney. I command that all traffic from all soul ties must cease and be completely broken off and that they leave (inserted survivors name here) and go directly where you, Jesus commands them to go touching and harming no one on the way. Father God, I ask for a release of your love over (inserted survivors name) and that she would feel your love and that she would see yourself as you see her, that she is a woman of great value and that you have redeemed her and that you have cleansed her and you see her as pure and holy before you. In Jesus name, Amen.
Can you imagine how the survivor felt reading that or even listening to the therapists prayer for purity?
(The survivor actually experienced CSA, lives with PTSD, and other medical conditions, which the survivor repeatedly disclosed during the sesssion, prayer might feel comforting if done in a consensual manner and not insinuating that because the survivor has experienced CSA, she has sexual ties with abusers and/or demon/spirit possession.)
After she spoke to this counselor, the Bishop of her church (whom the counselor also asked for his name during the session) went out of his way in church and stopped right by her bench and said specifically to the survivor that just because you experienced CSA, doesn't mean you don't have to honor thy father and thy mother.
When the survivor contacted the counselor and asked if the things they shared were kept confidential, the counselor replied: we try to protect the survivors as much as possible.
Survivor: I won't be coming back to you.
Context: Survivor had attempted to set a boundary with an Amish church member that had been abusive to them or their loved ones - did not take phone calls with them, and then the survivor participated in communion. People claimed the survivor was unforgiving because they set this boundary of not communicating with people who harmed themselves and/or others.
Peer Support Groups
When people create peer support groups - they often may expect an outcome that fails to account for:
The ways many insular groups are taught to fear - anyone external to the group and therefore it can heavily impact the journey to feeling safe enough to discuss the topic of abuse.
The many ways people external to the group have failed to provide appropriate support, resources and medical care for abuse survivors.
The lack of linguistic capability in many insular communities to begin talking about abuse, especially when they speak a different primary language.
The length of time it may take to establish enough trust - for folks who attend to actually open up may vary, I've seen it be more than 5 years.
Does that mean peer support to talk about divorce and abuse is inadequate and ineffective?
Not necessarily in my opinion, the fact they were discussing divorce and abuse as well as engaging in questions to help them understand their own or their loved ones options better - could lead to some insightful moments for the group.
Group leaders, however should be equipped with the education, tools and knowledge to actually facilitate productive and healthy discussion such as NAMI standards.
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